Georgina Pazcoguin Doesn't Dance Around the Dark Side of the Ballet World in 'Swan Dive'
The New York City Ballet soloist and activist releases her memoir with candid stories about the less than graceful parts of being a ballerina.
“To be a ballerina is an ephemeral thing,” Georgina Pazcoguin tells L’OFFICIEL. The dancer is the first female Asian American New York City Ballet soloist and a newly minted author who has captured the transitory moments of her career thus far in a memoir, Swan Dive: The Making of a Rogue Ballerina. As Pazcoguin explains, not only are professional dancers’ days finite—due to the physical demands of the dance form—but she also believes that ballet altogether risks slipping into obscurity if it cannot adapt to the social progress happening on a wider level.
Representation matters to Pazcoguin, who is half Filipina and, alongside Phil Chan, the co-founder of Final Bow for Yellowface, a movement that is committed to ridding ballet of outdated and offensive depictions of Asian people in performances. In addition to shedding light on the microaggressions and more blatant racism in the ballet world in her book, Pazcoguin also tells stories of the body shaming, emotional abuse, sexual misconduct, and physical sacrifices that she has experienced or witnessed. Her page-turning personal accounts—from the days she first started dancing to when she joined NYCB and later earned the title of soloist in 2013 (a position she still holds)—show the blood behind the beauty of ballet—but also her wholehearted love of the art form.
Ahead of her book's release on July 27, the dancer speaks to L’OFFICIEL about the future of ballet and breaking stereotypes.
L’OFFICIEL: How did you approach writing and retelling your experiences?
Georgina Pazcoguin: I want this to resonate with people who didn't grow up steeped in ballet culture, and I really want to break down the Hollywood ideas of how ballet has been presented. I wanted to tear that all down and [show] there is no reason, for instance, why a ballerina can't host Saturday Night Live. We are so much more multi-dimensional. There is a certain amount of sacrifice to the job, for sure, and yes, I clearly have experienced some trauma and a lot of my colleagues and I, collectively, have experienced something very intense as a community at the New York City Ballet. It all comes down to this idea that I truly love ballet and I want it to survive into the future. Right now we are at a crux moment where ballet could fade away like Baroque dance.
L’O: And keeping it alive means making it a more inclusive space.
GP: Yes, how do we push ballet in the future? With the work I do with Final Bow for Yellow Face, we are doing that from a diversity perspective. The book is intersectional to that discussion but it's also, “This is my story. Let me share with you the decisions I have made.” I love this art form so much, but I will say the hard things in order to have the discussion to push it. I don't want our audiences to die out. How are the diverse voices, the young people of New York City, or any place across the globe, going to see outdated stories, outdated characters, and different cultures? How are we expecting that to resonate with them?
L’O: How has being on pause for the past year changed your relationship with ballet?
GP: It's an amazing job, but sometimes it can be just a job. I want people to know like any artist or performer right now, this is a bigger discussion as we are emerging out of this barren landscape and this grief. What got us through the collective trauma globally of a pandemic and a continuous social uprising in the U.S., a lot of that was the performing arts and it happened to be through a screen, but that is only one facet. And if you like Broadway, you might also really like ballet and it's 10 blocks away! It's from 50th street to 60th street, just walk up and check it out.
L’O: One emotion you talk about a lot in the book is adrenaline—something that may not be visible to an audience, but is an intense feeling you’ve experienced in your career. Why was that important to articulate?
GP: I am trying to equate and bring out more of the sports side of this art form; that it is very very athletic. There might not be scores or competition with an opposing team, it might not be the Yankees versus the Mets, it is me versus me, or sometimes me versus that very fast conductor. Everyone has experienced adrenaline in their lives, so I used that to explain to my audience that this is what I feel when I'm on stage since my art form does not use speech for the most part. It's trying to make it accessible to everyone. Ballet is not something that needs to be dumbed down. There is no set way to react to ballet, so this was the fairest way for me to describe what it feels like.
L’O: What do you hope other female dancers and dancers of color will be able to learn from your book?
GP: It's not only for men and women who feel like they don't fit into the ideal stereotype of what a ballerina should be, but it is also speaking to all performing artists and, in coming back to what I mentioned before, how we advocate for ourselves in working with partners and with leaders. Change does not happen with a light switch. This is a process, this is going to take time, and yes there are changes that should be done now, that is not to excuse non-action. I think that what dancers or artists across the board will take away from this is that there is power in using our voices.
