Modern Fashion Etiquette Rules
Can I wear sunglasses inside? What are the rules for gatekeeping? This is your guide for existing as a fashionable person today.
Fashion has no rules, but is by nature full of theatrics. How do we navigate them? It’s a question that style aficionados have attempted to answer for centuries. Many clothing guides exist, but discussions of antiquated formalities bear little relevance to today’s sneakerheads and TikTok fashion girlies. Although we may not be royal courtiers or cinching into impossibly tiny corsets, we face our own set of complications. Now that Instagram feeds have replaced oil portraits and sidewalks are the new runways—what do we do? These are not guidelines for what goes with what or even the clothes themselves, but rather the circumstances surrounding them. In no particular order, these are the 21st-century dos and don'ts for the fashionably inclined.
1. It’s okay to be a little late (within reason) if you’re ensuring that you feel good in your outfit.
Risking insecurity for the duration of your outing isn't worth the 15 minutes.
2. You don’t always need to tell someone if their clothes are covered in lint.
If they can’t readily fix it, it’s just embarrassing.
3. If someone compliments your outfit, you are not obligated to compliment theirs—especially if you don’t actually like it.
A forced compliment sounds disingenuous to both of you. Simply reply "thank you" with a smile and move on.
4. Tell people that they look good when they do.
Even if they look good everyday. Even if they're a stranger. These little compliments go far.
5. Follow restaurant dress codes.
Respect the establishment. If it’s business casual, please, no flip-flops.
6. If you spot someone with a tag sticking up, always ask if you may tuck it in.
Assess the situation: if it’s your boss and you two are just walking into an important meeting, stay silent—it’s not worth it. Tell her after. This rule is more obvious to some than others.
7. Certain things should always be addressed.
Nip slip? Fly down? Tell them—discreetly.
8. If a friend already owns something you wish to purchase, ask if they would mind if you bought the same.
They likely won’t tell you "no," but asking gives them a heads-up so they can mentally prepare.
9. Inspiration, not copying.
Fashion is built upon references. Technically we're all copying each other. That said, use common sense. If a friend wears a unique outfit and you re-create the look to a tee, it reads a little gauche. Use the style you see as a guide rather than a rule.
10. If it’s someone’s birthday or special day, don’t wear anything that could potentially upstage them.
11. If someone inquires where an item is from and you wish to gatekeep, pretend you don’t remember.
They won’t believe you, but they will get the hint.
12. That said, people appreciate transparency.
Who knows? You might make their day or introduce them to their new favorite designer or vintage store. If you are willing to share, please do!
13. Let fashion recognize fashion.
Oftentimes in the city, two well-dressed people walk past each other and intentionally avoid eye contact. Yes, it’s fashion—we may or may not have larger egos than the average person—but that’s no excuse. Look at each other! Absorbing new influences is the cornerstone of the industry. Plus, engaging in eye contact for just a fraction of a second is like a secret nod of approval. That fashion recognizes fashion moment reminds both of you that you are part of a community because you are.
14. It’s better to be too dressy than too casual.
You will never regret looking nice, but you will regret the yoga pants.
15. If someone can’t pronounce the name of a designer, correct them (nicely).
Wait for the right moment. Don’t mock or poke fun. We didn’t all take French in high school. Help them learn.
16. Friends tell friends about sample sales.
You don’t need to post on TikTok, but tell any friends who might be interested. Besides, it's much more fun to queue with company.
17. If your friend looks especially cute, offer to take pictures of them.
Yes, even if that means you will be taking 300 photos. You know they want them, plus you probably want some too. It’s a noble tit-for-tat.
18. If you are lucky enough to attend a fashion show, actually look at the clothes.
This doesn’t mean you can’t film or take an Instagram photo, but remember why you are there and pay attention to the art before you.
19. If someone didn’t ask you for your opinion on their outfit and you don’t like it, say nothing.
Let them like what they like, even if you think it's bad.
20. But if they ask, be honest.
You would expect the same.
21. Sunglasses are complicated.
These are acceptable to wear in the sun for obvious reasons; they serve a utilitarian function. The rules for sunglasses inside are less straightforward. Although not technically necessary, wearing sunglasses indoors is okay for quick things—grabbing coffee, grocery shopping, getting the dry cleaning—especially in the morning. Maybe you don’t feel your best and that desire for anonymity is understandable.
Sunglasses are also permissible from the time you enter the inside of a restaurant until you sit down. After that, especially at night, please take them off. Keeping them can come across as silly, rude, or somewhere in between. We want to see your face. Plus, it’s much easier to remain present in conversation without a filter covering your eyes.
22. Bonus points for coming prepared.
Fashion is not for the faint of heart. We endure painful shoes and wear the occasional ill-fitting garment in the name of style. Also, the world can be a dangerous place—red wine, coffee, ink—there are many substances that could potentially deface a white blouse. Carry safety pins, bandages, and a stain remover whenever possible. Not only will you evade unnecessary stress, but you will also be remembered as an earthly angel by those whose outfit is saved thanks to your handy stash.
23. If you notice someone re-wearing an article of clothing, don’t call them out.
Even if you’ve seen them wear it a thousand times. This is real life and real people re-wear clothes. It's sustainable, practical, and a cute top is a cute top.
